It’s been a good, if rather hectic, weekend. And the best part is that Daddy came home from work this morning and woke me up for sex!!! That hadn’t happend in several weeks and I *still* feel warm and fuzzy this evening. 🙂
Anyone ever notice how fast time seems to move as an adult? I looked at the date today and it struck me that May is more than half over….the year is almost 6 months old. In not quite 6 months Daddy and I have gone from troubled to ecstatically strong and then back to troubled. I’ve not been in an O/p relationship before, so I can only presume that this is normalish; after all, regular couples have issues and rough spots too.
And I’m pretty sure that this week he’s found another….what’s a good word…interest this week. The 4th one that I know (or am pretty sure about) this year. He likes to flirt and have dirty chats and if the chemistry is right or he’s interested enough tell them what to do. Sometimes he involves me, sometimes he allows me to read their chats and sometimes he doesn’t. He’s the Owner. And while he says that he doesn’t want to hurt me….his changes in habit and behavior do hurt me. He never has those types of chats with me, no matter how hard I try.
I can only hope that since school is out in a couple weeks and at least the youngest kiddo will be leaving for the summer, that we can reconnect and get really strong. I miss feeling strong.
The weekend was great in the sense that there was relaxing…in fact yesterday I just stayed in my robe. Everyone is healthy, except me (I managed to jack up my shoulder while sleeping. I ask you!). Financially we are fine. You’re probably asking yourself what the problem is.
I don’t feel connected to Daddy. Oh, I know I’m owned. That he loves me and that I belong to him. I got that; says it on my ass and everything. It’s just that the O/p trappings are missing. It’s been ages since he’s specifically told me to do something or made use of me.
So it’s kinda like we’re just married. And that’s not bad…..but it’s not really what we signed up for either.
It’s overcast today and a bit chilly, which makes it a perfect day to curl up with a pot of tea and Netflix. Daddy’s out shooting zombies and the kiddos are off with friends. I don’t often have time just to myself and I intend to enjoy it!
And Daddy is already stressed and distracted again. For the life of me I can’t figure out what to do….so I’m trying to operate under the premise that this is *so* not my fault and that he’s dealing with someone or something else. There are times that I hate the O/p dynamic cause while I have to be completely transparent, he has no obligation to be.